Frankly Speaking

It's getting nice outside.  My parents have been mowing the grass and cleaning up the yard.  I've been trying to help by doing my business wherever I can find the weeds; unfortunately we have alot of weeds and I can only do so much!

Anyways, the other day I was hanging outside with Bean's and we got to talking (yes we talk, just in a tone inaudible to humans - bet you look at your dog differently next time you see him knowing that, Dr Dollittle was no joke - turns our Eddie Murphy wasn't that crazy after all).

I digress - so Bean's was saying how he would love to have a drivers license so he could go motoring out on the country roads by our house.  Motoring is the act of finding an open road, putting the windows/top down and driving 'with enthusiasm' - being cautious to watch for deer and critters of course.  A proper motoring session isn't complete without a trip to UDF for a Cookie Dough Deep Freeze.

Here are some Do's and Don'ts for Successful motoring out there!

1.  Don't motor alone.  Grab a friend who appreciates the great outdoors and that wind swept look.  I recommend Bean's or Christie Brinkley from National Lampoon's Vacation.  Her hair is the same look as Bean's pre-haircut!  Fabio could do as well - we are open minded here at TDF&B.

Classic Movie!

2. Don't let an idiot in the drivers seat - or a child.  This video below is making headlines.  Someone with more money than brains let his kid drive his Ferrari F430.  Avoid people like this!

3.  Crank up the tunes!  Here is a good place to start - check out the leather pants and sunglasses - INDOORS.  I give you Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf.  Fitting for two wild guys like me and Bean's.  Tried to find these guys in a red Ferrari to keep the theme going - you can't win em' all!

Get out there an enjoy the spring weather!

Spring Haircut

Someone got a haircut! Check out Beans' new 'do!

Beans had a date with the grommer on Friday because he was starting to look like a BEAST!

ROAR!!

 So with some 'moderate' trimming on his sides and legs, and just a liiittle trim on the top of his head and down his back he came back lookin' like a new man!

So fresh, so clean...

Lucky Frank did not have the same 'spa treatment' that lil Beans did except for a little nail/paw trim. BUT poor Frank had to go through a few hours of "wheres my best buddy?" while Beans was away...

"Have you seen Beans??"

"He's never coming back :( "

"At this rate he might never come back ... guess I can chew on his rawhide bone then..."

Happy Monday!

Firecracker Friday

So when we go to Toledo to visit, Frank & Beans encounter one other bird... Firecracker! Firecracker is my 20-year-old cockatiel (yes... 20 .... ). Apparently he's upset that he hasn't been featured on DF&B as I've been getting several picture & videos about it from him. So ... without further adieu... meet....... Firecracker...
Warning #1: if you are at work DO NOT play this on your speakers...
Warning #2: turn your volume WAY DOWN when you start to play it and gradually raise the volume as you watch.. {trust....}
Helpful Hint: need to get somebody up and out of bed? Play this video :) 

...and here's another Happy Friday video I found on YouTube. A collection of cute dog videos from American's Funniest Home Video. You will all know what Frank & Beans favorite clip is :)

  Happy Friday!!

Sheriff Hat Beans

I was surprised the other day to see that BEANS had an eMail from a fan! They wanted to know where Beans sheriff hat is. It's right here!!

We still occasionally put it on while doing everyday things... like eating carrots for example...

I'll try and get more pictures of Beans is his hat to share again soon!!

Crouton Canines

Lately we have been letting the chiefs have run of the kitchen during the day when we're at work or running errands. They've been pretty good recently so we figured they 'earned' it (as if they know). OF COURSE when given this opportunity they know it's time to get mischievous...
I got home from the gym last night to this...

Someone must have been craving a salad but could only locate the croutons...

... and not just one kind but BOTH kinds that we have ("big texas toast" AND" santa fe style")...

{notice Beans is happy as a clam...}

Unfortunately for Frank there weren't many croutons left in either bag so the most he could have gotten were a few...

Yet he still tried to get every last crumb out of the package (look familiar??)

 Oh Frank... 

...Beans don't think you're free & clear on this one either...

Frankly Speaking

I'd like to spend my post today addressing barking.  Barking is a skill I practice whenever given the chance.  I will keep barking until I learn English - right now I'm retaking Latin 101 at University of Phoenix online.  One of the pre-reqs for dogs to take English is Latin.  Not sure why - the only person speaking Latin these days is my main man Pope Francis!

Anyway - my favorite reason to bark is to remind people I am here (albeit underfoot most of the time) or because my dad is too cheap to install a DOORBELL.  The meme below from my friends at Young House Love put up says it best!

Young House Love is the site where my mom gets lots of ideas about tchotchkes for our house then my dad has to go figure out to build / paint / re-purpose and re-use random found items.  It good fun to watch him create stuff from scratch!  

Bean's does this most mornings at 5am - for fun... I can't reach my own ears to cover them!!

Of course barking could mean a lot of other things as well - here they go in order from lest important to most important..

1. I am out of food.  Hey Human - When can I have more food?  Is there any food left?  Maybe I can have some of Bean's food.  I promise I won't eat more just let me smell it!  Just let me lick the inside of the bag.  You eat lunch why do I only get breakfast and dinner (I know it's the same food BTW).
2. I see a cat invading the back yard and you won't let me off the leash to go 'take a closer look'.  Honestly, I just want to say hi - maybe exchange Twitter usernames maybe go dig some holes.
3. I need to go out to do my business - also could be interpreted as "I know where you put your favorite shoes - it would be a shame to find a surprise next time you put them on as you leave for work in the morning!"
4. I swear you didn't feed me - I would know trust me.

So in summary - anytime you dog barks feed him them let him loose outside (away from busy road).  We would be so much happier to have unlimited food AND be able to 'greet' the neighbors cat!

Green Paw

Over the weekend the boys helped us clean up the yard a bit (or at least that's what we've been telling them). We've been working on getting our little garden boxes cleaned up in preparation for some veggies & herbs to be planted soon.

Check out Frank who is hard at work - doing what dachshunds do best... DIGGING!!

(check out the garlic that is already sprouting from when it was planted last year!!!)

Beans wasn't all that into the whole gardening thing so he just took a sideline view while he worked on his tan (and rolled around in the grass).

Frank had a good time, though - and looks forward to helping us again this week!!

Happy Monday!

Random Rudy Takeover

Rudy is back!! ...and this time he's got a video to share with everyone! (or at least we hope so... we were having some difficulties last night loading the video)

He's hammin' it up for the camera saying "Hey Rudy" and "Rudy go nigh' " (as in "Rudy go night-night" - what I tell him when I cover him up at night). Such a clever little guy... :)

Frank & Beans are taking Friday off, so have a great weekend everybody!

Thunderstruck

We had a little thunderstorm yesterday ... and by thunderstorm I think it was more thunder than storm. Frank tends to pace around the house all nervous-like when he hears thunder. And Beans? Well.. what about Beans...

Oh wait - there he is!

Clearly Beans is not a fan of thunder either....

.. found you!! {AHH those eyes!!}

And then he starts to smell our {human} dinner cooking and all of a sudden everything is all better! Go figure..

Frankly Speaking

This week I got a letter from Dixie the Chow Chow.  Dixie writes "I've been spending alot of time watching Dubstep Dog and totally forgot to pay my taxes which were due yesterday.  I need your advice on how to handle this situation since its too late to get an extension and I don't really want to pay them anyway!"

First let me just say that if there was a beauty tax I would pay through the nose!

Anyway, I'm impressed that you were able to find a way to make a living - I have been trying to find respectable work since I got adopted out of the shelter almost two years ago!  So far I've been a Life Coach (for Beans), Personal Trainer (for Beans) and Hairdresser (Have you seen his hair?).

Back to your taxes - my best advice is to RUN or HIDE.  Or better yet just stay still!  Like a wise man once said - if you stay still they (the taxman) can't see you.  Recall one of the best movies in the history of Hollywood and the world - Jurassic Park.  Recall the scene where they say that the T-rex can't see you if you don't move.  There were SO wrong about that!

 Someone is grumpy! (T-rex from Jurassic Park).

As always - any of my advice is excellent (I would charge but then I would have to pay taxes) so best of luck.  If you need any role models take a look at TMZ - there are plenty of celebrities who don't pay taxes and look how famous they have become!

Sleepy-Frank Monday

Found these older pictures from last year of Frank & his girlfriend just chillin...
He's quite the resourceful dog when it comes to comfort, wouldn't you agree? 

 His girlfriend doesn't look that comfortable, though.... hope she's OK...

Happy Monday!!

Frank & Beans Detroit Tigers Home Opener RECAP!

Last Friday was the Detroit Tigers Home Opener at Comerica Park. OF COURSE Frank & Beans were there to check things out!! See what kind of trouble they got into!!

The day started off with the boys chatting it up with Rod & Mario for a little bit...

original photo from wikipedia.com

Beans:  "Yes Rod, I agree with you 100%... I think the Tigers are going to have
another stellar season!!"

Frank: "Ya know, Beans, I feel another World Series coming on, except this time
we're going to win it!!"

And we noticed that these guys got their names up on a greeting on the scoreboard.. they seem to be getting pretty famous..

original photo taken from mlive.com

THEN it was game time...
Frank was having a hard time understanding why Prince Fielder & Miguel Cabrera didn't want to play fetch with him and his green snake toy...

original photo taken from mlive.com

"Come on guys! Throw it! I can run REEEALLY fast!!!"

We had to explain to Frank that this was a baseball game and these guys were a little busy with something more important... 

You guys may not have seen it, but our own Beans was was responsible for one of the Tigers runs.. can you believe it? In case you didn't see it, take a look...

original photo taken from mlive.com

"Must go faster! Must go faster! Must go faster!"

 

The boys were trying REALLY hard to catch a foul ball to bring home....

original photo taken from mlive.com

"Frank! You got this!!"

...No luck this time but maybe another! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Jokes from Beans!

Someone wants to be funny again - Beans is back with some more jokes! (and a crazy hair 'do)

Why was the dog sweating so much?
He was a hot dog!!!



Where should you never take a dog?
A flea market!!!



What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones!!!



Why do dogs run in circles?
It's hard to run in squares!



What do dogs have that not other animal has?
Puppy Dogs! :)


Happy Thursday!!

Tuesday Trip to the Park!

We had such nice weather yesterday that we couldn't NOT go out for a walk and hang out at the park!!

The boys were PUMPED... although the park was filled with too many other dogs so we had to stay on our leashes...

Beans also enjoyed doing one of his favorite spring activities...

ROLLING AROUND IN THE GRASS!! YEAAAAH
We also spent a lot of time looking at the other dogs. Frank & Beans were very focused on seeing who was out and about at the park... who was wearing what leash ... what collar.. you know, the typical neighborhood-park-talk...

" Beans, can you believe that boxer left the house with a leash looking like THAT"

"I know, Frank, such a tragedy.. a pink polka-dot leash with a green striped collar" :: sigh :: 

By the time we got home we probably hit over 2 miles on our walk, so the little chiefs sure were tuckered out! Here's to more good weather!! 

Frankly Speaking

When I checked my emails this week I was a bit confused.  I had an email titled "Stock Picks" addressed to the ETRADE Baby.  I was a little bit offended because I am actually 28 in people years - hardly a baby!  Well I quickly got over it because I find the ETRADE baby so darn funny.  You may have seen him - check out the latest commercial from the Superbowl.  BOOOM!

Anyway it must be fate or at least luck that I got this misdirected email - I'm sure you heard its Financial Literacy Month all April long so perfect timing - let's get down to business.   

Everyone knows the importance of putting money aside for later.  Best way to do this is by smart investing or putting money in a safe hiding place.  Given the uncertainty in the 'human' financial markets I have putting my money into Dachshund Currency.  You can find these on eBay for pennies on the dollar (actually 2 / $1.00 plus $0.70 shipping unless you big and get Priority mail for $5.95 - live life on the edge!).

I will be getting the call on the red phone to fund the next bailout!

Ok - lastly, once your convert your money you need a place to hide it.  I recommend digging a hole in the backyard and burying your loot (Preferably away from Bean's favorite comfort stop spot).  The best way to do it is with your paws/hands - after all I have webbed feet for a reason!  Check out this pooch digging a hole!

Happy digging!  Maybe you will find some treasure!

When life hands you a lemon cake box...

I was looking through some pictures from last year and came across these. We had bought a frozen cake and threw the box on the floor to put in the recycling bin later. While we were eating the cake in the other room and heard a noise in the kitchen...

Someone seemed to be having some issues...

"I'm going to try some of this too... it smells DELICIOUS.. it's got to be in here somewhere"

"Whoopsies.. "

"Ugh.. what was that..."

"Hmm...Maybe I'll just take this in the other room"

"Awww maan!! Wasn't me! It was her!!!"

 Unfortunately for Frank there was nothing in the box.. poor guy :(

Fabulous Friday

Happy Friday from Frank!!

It's been such a long week and the boys can't wait to head over to the park to chase some toys around again...

See you on Monday!!